Let me hesitate, only
a moment -- draw in my breath
to fortify myself -- then I
endeavor ... endeavor ... A moment --
Reluctant, weak, I watch
Now flicker into Now again,
Each new Now weaker, its
violet wings crumpling.
Embarrassed, time slips past in days and hours,
Runs fluidlike from Later into Never.
Grace comes sometimes surprising --
ripping the zigzag seems I laid with such
arachnid dexterity. Even -- often -- with
violence -- If
I could only follow that straight-stitched line
to faith. Only love
you, spider God, imperial spinner.
Don't be afraid. I only ever wanted to
embrace you, as
a good friend might.
Thin arms wrapped around your shoulder bones, warm, shaking with your